Sunday, October 18, 2009

Stuck in Traffic

Cairo is the only city that is capable of giving a person traffic-phobia.

I hereby proclaim the hours from 6-8 pm, "Jackass Hours".

Speaking of which, my best friend is currently stuck in traffic, a different kind of traffic however. It has all the traits of the ordinary one, you're stuck in the same place for a long time, a place you hate, with no chance nor hope of moving any time soon, and the road ahead has never looked more infinite, not to mention that you're vision is blurry as a result of the flickering red lights.

He's in that phase of life, where he's stuck in traffic, huddled alongside many others. It is a one way one lane road, disproportionally crowded and everybody wants to get to their destination as soon as possible. Only few can cross at a time though…

Being the repulsive place that it is, some out of fury and impatience crash, never getting to where they think they should be. Others lose hope and turn back to somewhere they know they shouldn't be. Befriended by faith and patience, the rest reach their eventuality…

I believe in eventualities, whether you let go or squirm about, they piece together. One's actions however, may either delay the eventuality or simply let it take its natural course.

So those who keep their heads intact and wait their turn do reach the highway where the cruising is smooth and the sailing is fast to their destinations of choice. That is when despair and resentment disseminate and my favorite expression is stridently shouted:

"What the [Insert Swear Word Here] was I thinking?"

I loved roaring it and I'm going to love it all the same when my friend does too.

When he reaches the highway, I'll be standing at the side of the road next to Clara (Ma Voiture) waiting for him. I'll help him decide where to go next, and vice versa.

Anything short of a thermo-nuclear explosion can be handled

Random Thoughts:

I've been wondering why sappy over-romantic people are called "cheesy". I never really got it, but it did occur to me that when someone farts he "cuts the cheese". I honestly can't think of a better opposite to romance than a loud ghastly fart. So you're "cheesy" when you're pulling off puppy love stunts, but when you "cut it" – the cheese – you're pulling off a totally different kind of stunt. Well, what do you know? It seems that these two expressions are in fact related.

I realize that this is a bit late but, Go Africa! I guess Brazil can actually lose at soccer.

The Song: زحمة يا دنيا زحمة – احمد عدوية

1 comment:

  1. LOL Go Africa!

    Traffic oh maybe life is a one long severely congested Salah Salem?