Footnotes

The city of the full moon

Elation and bittersweet pain

Movie-like scenes, days and dramas

Smiles that hug tears

Family

Successes and failures

Writing, rediscovered

Loved blemishes, and beauty only I can see

Memories and friends

Sexy scars

Dreams, lots of dreams

Serendipity

Maturity, Immaturity and lessons learned

Full moons

Happiness without reason

Timeless music

The imaginary shot of scotch and cigarette that come to my rescue

Kyrie

January, July and December

Faith, belief, nostalgia, hope, silver linings and revelations

Who I was, who I am and who I am meant to be

Finding God

24/12/2009, 4.35 am, 12°C and a hot mug of coffee

"Hell or Glory, I don't want anything in between"

Music is comfortable, miracles are plausible and endless stories exist

This year has been far too kind to me

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The Song: She's My Winona - Fallout Boy

Silhouette

Sometimes, we slip into solipsism and become oblivious to those whose lives intersect with ours. We simply refuse to see where they're coming from. We refuse to see the shadows they drag behind.

Those who forever walk towards the sun will never know what a shadow is.

It is like we're all walking towards our respective suns, and in the process, empathy is lost, and more importantly, some lose track of who they are.

I need a dreamcatcher, one that will help me survive the dawn of red mist and the dusk of agony and despair. One that will make me turn my back on the sun and remember what my shadow looks like. One that will show me others' shadows…

I don't mind the world today.

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The Song: Starts When You Fall - The Killer And The Star

Kyrie's Melody

it rained for days on end

flooding my mind

wave after wave

crashing on the rocks

beckoning us

take a dip!

the little child jumped in

i remained ashore

i watched

he swam in a black sea

surrounded by a silver aura

he waved at me

in fear, i smiled

let's go, I cried

but he swam away

it rained some more

the waves gnarled and roared

he can't go

he's all I have

until I save Kyrie he's all I have

he dreams, he smiles

he can't go

i jumped into darkness

i swam my body weary

sweet water mixed with tears

Kyrie

before the music stops playing

before the sky's tears run dry

could I have found you?

the last breath is finally here

overtaken by a dark cold wave

I close my eyes

oh

there's a silver shimmer

down at the bottom

that last breath will have to wait

i swim deeper

i can see him clearly now

sitting at the bottom

overwhelmed with happiness

i swim closer

he's not alone

Kyrie?

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The Music: Postcards from Far Away - Coldplay

A Disarray of Conversational Longing

"The Coal isn't lighting up"

"Not to worry ! I will set it on fire with my Hadoken !"

"What the heck is that ?"

"…"

There used to be a kid who lived in a fantasy world. A kid who used to think that if he concentrated real hard and shouted out "adoogen", energy will burst from his wrists. I really miss that kid and his world.

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"…alo?"

"Are you asleep ?"

"Of course, Lamiss, it is 2:30 in the morning, and why the heck are you calling me ?"

"There's a burglar in the house"

"Uh..what..?"

"I heard something coming from the kitchen, that’s why I was scared to come out of my room and come tell you. Can you go check ?"

"Lulu, I have loads of work early in the morning, don't be silly"

"Please"

"…ok"

…………

"There's nothing out there"

"Are you sure? Have you checked the whole house ?"

"Yes"

"Ok, thank you"

"Good night"

"Sorry for waking you up"

"Don't worry about it sweetheart"

I can't believe you're already 18. You'll always be my baby sister though; I don't care how old you are.

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"Haha ! And I was wondering why you're mom bought pickles while there was no food in the house ! You managed to plot all these plans right under my nose and I couldn't even notice !"

"Happy Birthday, Baba"

I hate the fact that I am now taller than you are, because in my head, I still look up to you. I love you.

© Getty Images

Recently, I realized that I am a very nostalgic person, thanks to Jess. This in turn has led me to an even bigger realization. Nostalgia for the past is one thing, but nostalgia for the future ? I am now more nostalgic for the future than I am for the past.

© Getty Images

Random Thoughts:

So I was watching titanic the other day (it was on while I worked, don't judge me) and I made a great discovery. Technically, it was jack and rose who sunk the freaking thing. If they hadn't decided to fool around like idiots on deck, the sailors wouldn't have been distracted from looking out for incoming danger, and they would have seen the approaching iceberg sooner.

I hate people who lick their fingers to flip pages. Where the heck did this idea come from ? Am I supposed to hold the licked document after you're done with it ?! God created opposable thumbs for a reason !! Asswipe.

We have a very cool janitor at work. He actually listens to music on his mp3 player as he cleans the office up. Pretty stereotypically movie like. The only problem is that he doesn't hear the sounds he makes as he cleans. He sounds like a Neanderthal learning to speak.

I guess you know you're beard is too long when it actually starts fluttering with the wind. It's nature's way of telling you that an alien race will be able to invade earth using your beard as headquarters. I'm not shaving though. Give me one reason to shave (not looks related) and I will.

Shoryuken.

The Song: Everlong – Foo Fighters .. Sends shivers down my back, every time.

Souvenirs...Real Blood for a Change

The second she saw me, she collapsed in my arms and broke in tears.

Never, will I ever forget the moment my mother cried her heart out as she squeezed me tight. Amidst all the crap I went through during my night in Sudan, this is the only thing that hurt, a lot.

A couple of years ago, I along with four of my friends got in a fight with the workers of a gas station located in one of the lower class areas of Egypt. I can vaguely remember why we got in that fight, but I do know that it was over a stupid reason. The result was that we found ourselves surrounded by 25 angry workers who were already holding societal grudges. I still have a scar on my arm and another on the back of my head to remind me of that day.

There's now a new one on my back to remind me of my time spent in Khartoum.

I don't get why I had to spend a night abroad maneuvering my way out of harm, nor do I get why a city became a war zone because of a soccer match. More importantly, I don't see why my loved ones had to suffer because of my foolishness.

This whole issue is beyond me; it is yet another addition to my portfolio of enigmas and scars.

I'd love to hate Algeria, but that would be illogical. May what we're going through be real patriotism or not, hating an entire nation still does not make sense.

So, I'm back, angry, scarred and confused. Anger fades away, scars make me sexier (at least I hope so) and I've learned to love confusion lately.

Without enigmas and scars, there wouldn't be silver linings. I love silver linings.

Yesterday was the end of the craziest couple of weeks of my life. Yesterday was a silver lining.

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family"

Eid Mubarak Everyone!!

Random Thoughts:

My bus was on fire, I had shattered glass all over me in addition to a bleeding shoulder and back, but I still managed to flash them Algerians a big grin, just like I did the station workers. Up yours!

There was this ginormous brick coming at me through the bus window, and I swear, I could almost see it coming in slow motion. When I thankfully dodged it, I laughed like a total nut; it was so absurd that I simply couldn't believe it was happening.

"I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love"

66 work hours a week will make one see this sentence very differently. And yes, I did the math. With my current lifestyle, I shall remain eternally si-hi-ngle. That is so not my plan.

Rain, lightning and thunder while driving at dawn?! Thank you lord.

Coup de Foudre, Je te cherche partout

The Song: Rain - Creed

Kryptonite

"You don't have to be Superman all the time"

My mother said that to me today.

I wish I could though.

The Song: Fairytales and Castles - Lifehouse

I Wrote this on the Night of a Full Moon

Lately, Cairo's sky has been exceptional to say the least. On my way to work this morning, I noticed that the clouds were…puffy. It's like our cruel sky has finally decided to abandon the 2 dimensional realm and become 3 dimensional for a change. I've also never seen it this blue. It looked like a vintage oil painting.

That is good change.

It often happens that I think extensively but don't quite know what I'm thinking about. It's like walking into a cloud of bees where every bee is a different thought or idea. I'm not sure if anyone has experienced this, but it's quite hectic. Nothing really solves this mental predicament for me. The only remedy is usually a trigger that deciphers my intellectual matrix and makes some sense out of its complexities, may it be a friend, a child's smile or time well spent on my PS3. They are variant and variable, but the one thing that always does the trick, is a full moon.

I wait every month for the day I go tête-à-tête with the full moon. He's become more like a friend to me.

The moon and I, we go way back.

So, on the ride back home, a week of intermingled contemplation was reassembled poetically.

Clear and vivid as the sky was tonight, I still found the full moon to be the star of the show. Every time I look at full moon, I always think of the many other places I'd rather be watching it from. The Eiffel tower, a Venetian river and a Hurghadian beach all come to mind, but that's not my point.

I was more than happy just watching the glamour of the moon through my car's roof, yet I never seized to think about how I can admire it better. No matter how content we are, we always tend to imagine the improved versions of the realities we're living in. There always are a number of modifications and additions that we think would optimize the current conditions. That to me is only natural…

But why is it natural?

Some may argue that being fully content is unfeasible, while others claim that greed constantly gnaws at one's satisfaction with the status quo.

I however, think that one can be fully content. I can't claim that I have reached that level, but I know I've been as close as possible, many times.

Never have I ever seen a man who turned down the world's plea to serve.

He who does will have defied gluttony and embraced happiness.

When the world bows down to me, I want to be that man.

The Song: Beautiful Day - U2